It’s like the weather. When it’s been hot for so long – long enough that it feels like you have a permanent headache and you can’t shift the clammy smell in your armpits – there always eventually comes a chilly, overcast day to clear the air, and you find that you can breathe easier.
When I’ve been happy for a while (or at least, not sad) there is always a day where I wake up solemn, knowing I’ll feel teary but also that it’s OK – it’s just clearing the air, reminding me. I can ride these days out, roll with it until I either slide back into the rhythm of the happy days, the summer days, or flail for a bit because I can’t find my way back to the warmth again.
But once you’re there, once you’re back to smiling without thought again, the cold days see a lifetime ago – an untouchable memory that you can’t look at for too long. It’s more difficult in winter, but just the same: ride the cold out, wait for spring to arrive like it always does.
~ another journal entry