I feel as though there are too many versions of me in too many people’s heads.
I know everyone behaves differently depending on who they’re with, but sometimes I feel as though I’m constantly switching one mask for another. Other times they all get jumbled up and I forget who needs me to be what for them. Does this person need me to be the sarcastic, never-troubled me? And is this person after supportive, lay-all-your-troubles-on-me me? Where does cheerful, never sad me fit in? Anyone care for a bit of poetic, ‘let’s look at the trees’ me? They all have at least some roots in reality, but they’re all grounded in deception too.
I’m usually good at knowing what people need- which version of me they need. Except when it comes to myself. I’ve never been good at working out exactly what it is that I need to fill in any new holes that might’ve appeared. All these different versions of myself bubbling under the surface – one day they’ll spill out and I’ll lose them.
What will I do then?