It’s still here. The warmth that comes with feeling like all my worries are just the same as everyone else’s. The easy routine that means I know what I’m doing each day. I feel as though I’ve fallen into it head first, completely immersed myself in the only real happiness I’ve felt for a long time.
A part of me thinks that writing it down so honestly like this will jinx it, but so far it only gives it more fuel, more power – gives it more realness. I’m being a normal person, a normal student. I cook and I clean and I go on nights out and genuinely enjoy them! Mum held me close as we were waiting for her coach, and there’s so many memories in that moment, I could have drowned in them. She’s proud of me – I can accept that she’s not exaggerating now.
I’m so ready to feel proud of myself too.
I’m not oblivious, I know that I’m not out of the woods yet, but I’m too content with enjoying this for however long it lasts. I have new friends, I’m learning about things that actually interest me.
I think I’m finally growing up.